I know you are all sooo eager to know what I’m up to today so here it is…
Today I told a head teacher his school wasn’t good enough for my child. We both then turned to see my 3 year old son rolling around on the floor pretending he’s a helpless, dying snail crushed by a giant foot.
Note to self: shut up.
Just reading Miranda Harts ‘Is it just me?’ and I’m not loving it. Everything she claims is embarrassing is pretty standard in my life. Curling up in a ball at night because you asked someone how they pronounce their name (Bob) is not that bad! It worries me that I say and do far worse on a weekly basis… I would like to offer an example which perhaps in a day or 2 I will delete as not to prolong my embarrassment.
I was Christmas shopping with my husband in JL (John Lewis to all you common folk out there) when I stumbled upon the toy section. It was filled with Star wars toys and gadgets much to Stuarts delight.
Anyway, on a shelf I saw a Darth Vader helmet and thought it would be hilarious to scare Stuart!!! I put it on, switched on voice mode, turned round and said ‘No, I’m your father!….’ but Stuart wasn’t there. In his place was a JL manager with her eyebrows raised and one hand on hip. I went into auto-panic-mode and without taking the helmet off I said ‘I’m pregnant.’ followed by heavy breathing. She stood for a moment and then, without a word, walked off.
The thing is I wasn’t pregnant but she believed me!! How bloody rude!!!
It’s been a while - I’ve lost my mojo.
- Thomas Jefferson